Soul Mates

A little something from my journal writing …

Soul mate. I’m not really sure what that means.
Is it just my expression of love represented in another? Through the expression of another’s needs and love do I come to see myself?
When I reject my soul mate am I rejecting myself? Do I throw anger and vitriol against my soul mate because I hate myself in that moment?
Do I reject their embrace or their kiss because I am unlovable and not worthy of softness, tenderness, touch?
Do I put up walls and make excuses for fear of seeing my own vulnerability reflected in my soul mate’s eyes?
Do I walk away rather than walk to or with because I am afraid to be seen; afraid of my journey being known; my path being observed?
Do I stand still or retreat for fear of taking steps towards loving myself more through the journey of another?
What is love but a reflection of me, my own love expressed across time and space, infinite and unfolding.
Why do I fear giving and receiving it? I can’t lose it. It’s not able to used up or extinguished.
I can only close my eyes to its presence. I can only bury my head in my arms and cry tears of pain trying to blind myself to its radiant beauty.

What is love but a reflection of me, my own love expressed across time and space, infinite and unfolding.

But when I blink away the tears it’s still there. It hasn’t vanished. Rather it has deepened from absorbing and transforming my pain into its soft embrace; warming its cold edges and rolling it over and over again to soften and shape my pain into a new energy.
Like the waves carving out a new earth by repeating their gentle and sometimes ferocious knock at life’s door; begging to be let in; for the earth to open and become more vulnerable, more relenting.
In the eyes of my soul mate am I begging for that same invitation? To allow the gentle and sometimes ferocious repetition of love and longing to erode my limits and smooth my rough edges?
To recognise the ocean and earth as both one and another, giving perfect meaning in their co-existence; making them perfect mates.

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